Parshat Chayei Sara

In this week's parsha the Torah tells us of the matching and marriage between Yitzchak and Rivka. The Torah explains at great lengths the journey which Eliezer who was the servant of Avraham took to find a wife for Yitzchak, and the miracles that were done for him.

After Eliezer is successful in finding the fitting bride for his master, he brings Rivka to the Negev where Yitzchak is staying in order for them to meet.

This meeting is a tremendous moment in our history; this meeting is a major step in the culmination of HaShem's promise to Avraham to make his offspring a great nation.

The Torah tells us in great detail of this meeting "And Rivka raised her eyes and she saw Yitzchak; and she inclined while upon the camel. And she said to the slave, 'Who is that man walking in the field toward us?' And the slave said, 'He is my master.' She then took the veil and she covered herself" The Torah interestingly goes out of its way to tell us that Rivka took her veil and covered herself. Why? What does this little detail serve for us? We know that there is not one extra word in the Torah. What is HaShem trying to tell us?

Perhaps we can learn a tremendous lesson in behavior. Naturally when people become closer the standards of modesty and decorum fall. The society around us thinks the more secrets and one tells his friend or spouse, the closer they are. Therapists aware of this fact actually refuse to give over personal details of there own life to there patients lest the patient develop unhealthy feelings for them. However the Torah perspective is different, the closer one gets the level of decorum and respect demanded rises. It's very possible it is for this reason the torah commands us to respect our parents, in order to directly forestall this natural tendency. With our teachers as well this maxim is true, for the laws of respecting ones teacher and the closeness of that relationship are inherently connected. Here as well the Torah is telling us through adding that Rivka in seeing Yitzchak covered herself, that one must carry themselves with a higher level of modesty, even around those to whom they are the closest. Closeness is not defined in how many secrets one knows about the other.

We see this point brought out in the Gemara in Nedarim (21b) the Gemara tells us of a woman named Ema Shalom who had exceedingly beautiful children. When asked why she merited having such beautiful children, she answered that her husband was extremely modest during marital relations. We see that even during the most intimate time between a husband and wife, the concept of modesty must be upheld. Modesty is the foundation of a Jewish home; the wife is the spiritual conduit to bring holiness into the home. If the wife isn’t conducting herself in a modest way then the house isn’t built on a spiritual base. This is what the Torah was teaching us by adding a seemingly superfluous detail. May we all grow in perfection of our behavior and service to HaShe

Shabbat Shalom