Parshat Vayeira - Illness and Identity

 

This week's parsha begins “Hashem, appeared to him in the plains of Mamre” (18:1) Rashi comments that G-d's appearance was for the purpose of visiting Avraham who was ill following his circumcision. Interestingly, the Torah does not name who is being visited by God.

 

Rav Yaakov Kenizel, in his commentary on Rashi, notes this problem; how does Rashi know that this was the intention? He explains that Rashi knew from the fact that the Torah does not identify Avraham. Thus this parsha must be coming off the heels of Parshas Lech Lecha which concluded with Avraham performing a circumcision on himself, and there he was fully identified. 

 

But one could still ask, why doesn't the Torah formally name Avraham? Why rely on such a seemingly convoluted method to figure it out?

  

Perhaps there is a deeper message hidden here. As we know, G-d comes to visit Avraham in his pain. After Avraham undertook the arduous mitzvah of Brit Milah, Hashem comes to perform the mitzvah of Bikur Cholim – visiting the sick, so to speak. In order to curtail the burden upon Avraham, G-d even made the day hotter, as the medrash explains to stop travelers from passing by his tent lest Avraham would tend to them. All of this because Avraham was in pain – G-d was sensitive to the feelings of Avraham. For the truth is, as we know, when a person is sick, they're not “themselves”; they are not at their best and they don't look their best, whether because of a serious illness G-d forbid, or something as simple as a headache. Too often it is easy to judge or conclude that this is the true person.

 

This idea is born out in a vivid and difficult memory of mine. I had a relative who throughout his life was the paragon of sensitivity and mentchlichkeit. Unfortunately, he was stricken with brain cancer to which he ultimately succumbed. I watched painfully as this great man, over the time he received treatments, became bloated and immobile. He lost his hair, and due to to his incredible pain, his temper as well. It was almost as though he was a different person. This person who I adored for so many years and admired for his care and sensitivity to his spouse, was now irritable and moody towards her.  It felt so incongruent – how could this happen? How could a person undergo such a drastic change? Was this who he really was deep down? How could all those years of character vanish in such a short amount of time? I struggled to make sense of what I was being presented with.

  

That was until I learned this parsha. Then I understood this important lesson in Bikur Cholim and in empathy. In not identifying Avraham by name, the Torah teaches us that a person in pain is not “himself”, that pain and difficulty can take over a person, and become an impediment to be the person who he really is deep down. It is not a true representation of that person. Rather the true self is covered under the difficulties that they are bearing. And we, the onlookers, must understand that they are not the true version of themselves. 

 

The message doesn't end there. In truth, this episode is a tremendous praise of Avraham. Despite his deep pain, he so desired to perform the mitzvah of Hachnasat Orchim – Hospitality – and we see the great effort that he invested in that. But this is a praise of Avraham, our righteous forefather who lived on this great spiritual level and was able to overcome the pain. For us, it is not so easy. We are not Avraham Avinu, and we cannot expect that of ourselves or of others. What we can do is strive to better understand the pain and empathize with those who find themselves in this difficult situation.

 

This should serve for us as a lesson in empathy and love for others around us. May we continually grow to be the best version of ourselves.

 

 

 

Shabbat Shalom